There are nearly 500,000 kids in the child protection system at any given point in the US.
Having worked in the Global South all my life, the concept of child rights has been a negotiation within myself. On one hand, of course maltreatment is wrong, and abuse is completely unacceptable. Caregivers (predominantly, families) end up abusing their own child, for various reasons, repeatedly. The traditional view that the child is a property to be owned and controlled by the family, is just unacceptable and harmful. Of course this is wrong.
On the other hand, does the state have a right to interfere within a family and deem the parents unfit to care for their own child? If the parents or caregivers end up being abusive, who takes of the child till she/he becomes an adult?
Can the state ever be a better parent than the child's own family?
This tension within myself has been illuminating about my own belief system of the role and rights of a child and the child's family. My own upbringing in a traditional India, and my own concept of the rights I had a child and I have as an adult today, deeply influence the way I view this system. In my work, I see patterns of violence and abuse disrupting the child's life, actions that they absolutely don't deserve. Domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse, kids born with addiction at birth - all committed by caregivers who also love their children. And yet, it breaks my heart to see kids separated from families and placed under the care of strangers, day and night, all over again.
Where then, do we draw the line?
As we get into the nitty-gritties of how the law is defined and implemented, it gets shocking. Over 11,000 referrals involving 20,000 children are received each day at the child protection hotline. Anyone can make a complaint - if I see a child being yelled at by the parent or any caregiver, I can complain to child protection. If the child has more than 7 unexcused absences from school, be it kindergarten or elementary school, I am legally obliged to complain to the system. If I see instances of a young child being left unattended at home, I can lodge a complain of neglect against the caregiver.
Every time I observe such a case, the voice in my head says, "this is shocking. Were this happening in India, how would the Indian family react?!" And I can almost visualize the anger that would emanate from the family for an outsider stepping in and teaching them how to take care of their own child.
And so I sit holding this polarity within myself. Leave the child with the parents vs control and remove the child from an abusive situation, however I define abuse to be.
Being in extremes is always dangerous. The Buddha talks about the "path of moderation" - a middle-way between the extremes of self-mortification and sensual indulgence. I wonder if the child protection sector needs some of that too.
By allowing for a large grey area defined as "other types of neglect", many times the state criminalizes poverty more than child abuse. If a mom works three jobs, how is she expected to also pay for expensive daycare the entire week? If the family is homeless, is it right for the state to separate the child from the family citing homelessness as an issue? And can the state ever replace the love and protection they can provide for the child?
True, the child doesn't deserve to inherit poverty or homelessness from his/her family, but surely there are better ways of preserving child rights by providing cheap housing, skilling and employment, and sustaining the family unit, than by separation.
When I take this lens back to India, I see violence an everyday norm in households and schools. One child is sexually abused every 30 minutes, physical and emotional abuse is rampant and mental safety is almost unheard of. As we develop to be the country with more than half the population under the age of 30, how do we learn from the mistakes of the US, while still moving away from the history and legacy of child abuse we so shamefully carry?
Where do we draw the line?
And how?
Having worked in the Global South all my life, the concept of child rights has been a negotiation within myself. On one hand, of course maltreatment is wrong, and abuse is completely unacceptable. Caregivers (predominantly, families) end up abusing their own child, for various reasons, repeatedly. The traditional view that the child is a property to be owned and controlled by the family, is just unacceptable and harmful. Of course this is wrong.
On the other hand, does the state have a right to interfere within a family and deem the parents unfit to care for their own child? If the parents or caregivers end up being abusive, who takes of the child till she/he becomes an adult?
Can the state ever be a better parent than the child's own family?
This tension within myself has been illuminating about my own belief system of the role and rights of a child and the child's family. My own upbringing in a traditional India, and my own concept of the rights I had a child and I have as an adult today, deeply influence the way I view this system. In my work, I see patterns of violence and abuse disrupting the child's life, actions that they absolutely don't deserve. Domestic violence, physical and sexual abuse, kids born with addiction at birth - all committed by caregivers who also love their children. And yet, it breaks my heart to see kids separated from families and placed under the care of strangers, day and night, all over again.
Where then, do we draw the line?
As we get into the nitty-gritties of how the law is defined and implemented, it gets shocking. Over 11,000 referrals involving 20,000 children are received each day at the child protection hotline. Anyone can make a complaint - if I see a child being yelled at by the parent or any caregiver, I can complain to child protection. If the child has more than 7 unexcused absences from school, be it kindergarten or elementary school, I am legally obliged to complain to the system. If I see instances of a young child being left unattended at home, I can lodge a complain of neglect against the caregiver.
Every time I observe such a case, the voice in my head says, "this is shocking. Were this happening in India, how would the Indian family react?!" And I can almost visualize the anger that would emanate from the family for an outsider stepping in and teaching them how to take care of their own child.
And so I sit holding this polarity within myself. Leave the child with the parents vs control and remove the child from an abusive situation, however I define abuse to be.
Being in extremes is always dangerous. The Buddha talks about the "path of moderation" - a middle-way between the extremes of self-mortification and sensual indulgence. I wonder if the child protection sector needs some of that too.
By allowing for a large grey area defined as "other types of neglect", many times the state criminalizes poverty more than child abuse. If a mom works three jobs, how is she expected to also pay for expensive daycare the entire week? If the family is homeless, is it right for the state to separate the child from the family citing homelessness as an issue? And can the state ever replace the love and protection they can provide for the child?
True, the child doesn't deserve to inherit poverty or homelessness from his/her family, but surely there are better ways of preserving child rights by providing cheap housing, skilling and employment, and sustaining the family unit, than by separation.
When I take this lens back to India, I see violence an everyday norm in households and schools. One child is sexually abused every 30 minutes, physical and emotional abuse is rampant and mental safety is almost unheard of. As we develop to be the country with more than half the population under the age of 30, how do we learn from the mistakes of the US, while still moving away from the history and legacy of child abuse we so shamefully carry?
Where do we draw the line?
And how?
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